(second morning at monastery-21st)
Yesterday I did not write at all for the first time. So I think I will begin with the happenings of yesterday then move on today.
I did not get up for breakfast but Lucille said that I didn't miss much. Class was canceled because the monks guru was coming. Because they didn't know what time they spent all morning cleaning and we spent it wandering around a little and me trying not to cough or cry. Luckily around ten someone from the hostel appeared in our doorway to check on us. We hitched a lift in the van to town to pick up water, snacks, etc. Budhanilkantha has a pretty good Internet cafe so I spent some time there writing emails and copying the entries I had written on my ipad to my blog. Then Lucille and I walked a little to find a good market, eventually buying most of what we needed. Besides a twix I didn't eat anything until dinner last night. I guess they made a special dinner for us, naan, Tibetan bread, and a chunky vegetable sauce to use with the bread. During dinner eaten on the steps outside Tommy (the night watch dog) came over and the kids and I had a fun time feeding him. He is a very talented jumper. Dinner tasted delicious and spiciness helped my nose a little. After dinner Lucille and I went inside to sit on the couch, which is in the room next to the kitchen. During and after dinner some of the older monks sit and chat. We found another monk who speaks fairly good English and talked for an hour or so.
He was born in India in a Tibetan community in Orissa. He's lived at this monastery for seven years. In the temple there are three large statues at the front. The middle is Buddha (of course). The one on the left roughly represents death. I guess a depiction of him is on the doorway of every temple as a reminder to stop clinging to life and surrender to the idea of death. That way you let go of suffering. I asked who the statue on the right represents but the monk said it is difficult to explain in English. That doesn't bother me because I have plenty of time to learn and understand. He looks nice to me. Of course he also looks like a girl to me but I didn't say that.
Lucille and I left our companions early (no idea what time) and settled in for the night. I shook out my comforter and got most of the sand out. Lucille let me use our third comforter as a second pad on the bed. Consequently I slept more comfortably last night. My nest is just about put together. My bed is low to the ground which I don't mind. I have a little nightstand with a shelf underneath that I've set up nicely.
I realized that I left my favorite skirt at the hostel. I'm hoping it will still be there on Friday, after all my underwear found there way back to me. Plus I need to find my water bottle or just buy another one. The monks just drink the tap water here and are fine. I'm not that brave but luckily they almost always have big thermoses of boiled water in the kitchen so I'm not as worried about the water thing. Slowly things are coming together.
Last night I reread the first chapter of Pema Chodron and really felt it. Missing home, feeling sad, being afraid, wanting my people, being uncomfortable aren't inherently bad. They are thoughts and feelings. So I should just treat them as a though or a feeling instead of worrying about them being bad. "how interesting that I am feeling homesick. I will allow myself to feel that and I will sit with it." I will not condemn myself. I will accept my humanness and my holiness. Probably not today but tomorrow, or when I feel like it, I will ask someone if I may do my own meditation in the temple. Thank you for my book, Mamma. And thank you Kay for giving it to her. Maybe, just maybe, I can handle this. Maybe I can even handle it well and send and receive joy from the universe.
On to today so far... We just finished a fantastic lunch. I actually enjoy Dahl Baat (Dahl is a lentil soup and Baat is the Nepali word for rice) which nearly all nepalis eat at least twice a day. They also made a great vegetable curry. The vegetables were hot but I could handle it and again, good for my nose.
This morning's class went as well as can be expected. The average age is twelve and nearly all of them are interested in learning. Our problem now is figuring out what to teach. They are way more advanced than either Lucille or I thought. All except the littlest now how to add. They all know the alphabet, numbers and some know a little multiplication. They know their favorite foods, fruits and activities. Only slightly less hard than finding a curriculum is getting them to quiet down. I finally went back to my room and grabbed my singing bowl. Surprisingly none of them knew what it was and thoroughly enjoyed listening to it. I told them that when I strike it that means they need to be quiet and face forward. Surprisingly that worked fairly well. We probably have around 20 in the class and about five of them are little and are behind the others. I think Lucille and I will figure out how to split them up at some point. They all love to draw and paint. And they all have notebooks, pencils, and english and math books. So instead of giving my school supplies to the monastery I will ask Rustic which orphanages, etc have nothing and give it to them.
This morning I was struggling in class with my cough and cramps so during the break the boy who speaks the best English and answers every question (correctly too) shared with me some crystals the guru gave to them yesterday. He said they use it when they are sick so it will make me better. I put it in my water and thankfully it didn't taste like anything. After lunch some of the boys found me again and gave me a packet of what looked like tiny pebbles to put in hot water. That will also make me feel better. After class I did start to cough up the stuff in my lungs. Whether it was naturally time, the tiger balm or the magic crystals I don't know but I am feeling a little better. Time will tell. I just finished drinking my water with the pebbles in it which also had very little taste.
Lucille asked if we could go down to Kathmandu tomorrow instead of Friday because she has something she wants to see and this will let us get all of our chores in plus her day trip. Works for me. I haven't decided whether to stay at the hostel or Hotel Shree Tibet those two nights.
Right now I am fairly calm. This morning I had a few tears, partly homesickness but mostly just being miserable. I also know I'm more homesick because I'm actually sick and now my hormones are pilling on. This too shall pass, I just can't examine anything too closely in this state of mind. Keep moving, keep feeling, keep being gentle with myself, always keep chocolate around.
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