(Sunday morning)
Yesterday I got back to the monastery before Lucille, which wouldn't have been a problem except she has the only key to the lock on our room. So I spent a few hours on the stretch couch with monks passing in and out. The master nearly always comes and sits on the opposite end of the couch whenever I'm there. He doesn't do anything and whenever I look at him he gives me his big smile. Even when the tears ran down my cheeks he just sat there. It's oddly comforting and disconcerting at the same time. My learned social instinct is to say something, but MY instinct is to just sit. After a while I tried mediating and felt a little better.
A wise person told me that it is impossible to fail when meditating. You sit and you try to clear your mind and if you can't you still sit. Whether you worry the whole time about dinner or catch a glimpse of god, you win.
Yesterday I got back to the monastery before Lucille, which wouldn't have been a problem except she has the only key to the lock on our room. So I spent a few hours on the stretch couch with monks passing in and out. The master nearly always comes and sits on the opposite end of the couch whenever I'm there. He doesn't do anything and whenever I look at him he gives me his big smile. Even when the tears ran down my cheeks he just sat there. It's oddly comforting and disconcerting at the same time. My learned social instinct is to say something, but MY instinct is to just sit. After a while I tried mediating and felt a little better.
A wise person told me that it is impossible to fail when meditating. You sit and you try to clear your mind and if you can't you still sit. Whether you worry the whole time about dinner or catch a glimpse of god, you win.
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