Cravings

(thursday night)
I am sitting in the "New Orleans Cafe" in Thamel celebrating the second night of Tihar by myself.

Yesterday I felt truly lonely for the first time. Not the I'm alone in a crowded room feeling which I get quite often at home. I am starved for attention here. Not just the obvious but the little touches and hugs that come with being around familiar people. The warmth of sitting next to someone and not being afraid to lean against them. Sitting side-by-side watching tv or simply the ability to call a friend to meet you in Marymoor Park because your lonely and want company or a hug. Not only do I not have anyone who will hug me but I have no ability to find one in the first place. Yes, yes I make friends and yes we hug hello and goodbye. But the polite hugs propagated in today's society do nothing to assuage my needs.