(same night)
The lights just came back on to bother me. I was perfectly happy with the power off because of the lightning storm, thank you very much. I got out my cute blue reading light and my perfect pen light, put my bed in order and tucked myself in my sleeping bag. I enjoyed five minutes of time when my brain stopped bothering me, my body was comfortable and my heart barely hurt before the overhead light poked me hard in both eyes. Oh well, nice while it lasted. And besides my smarting eyeballs I'm still in a fairly relaxed place.
Lucille and I are getting on splendidly. We laugh together, talk about boys, and every night mentally struggle with each other to decide who will have to get up and turn off the light. I love making her laugh and knowing that she thinks I'm funny. Sometimes we look at each other and start giggling. Of course Lucille is French and in her thirties so she doesn't really giggle but her laugh is great.
I'm realizing more everyday that the more I settle here the harder it is to settle here. Now that I have a semblance of a routine I start missing my old one. Not having my love next to me when I go to sleep still feels unnatural and sad. Now I have to be comfortable in my own skin without my partners reassuring presents. But every time I look in my heart I find his love, and Mamma's that are stored there always. I find the saved up support of all of my people and the knot relaxes a little.
The lights just came back on to bother me. I was perfectly happy with the power off because of the lightning storm, thank you very much. I got out my cute blue reading light and my perfect pen light, put my bed in order and tucked myself in my sleeping bag. I enjoyed five minutes of time when my brain stopped bothering me, my body was comfortable and my heart barely hurt before the overhead light poked me hard in both eyes. Oh well, nice while it lasted. And besides my smarting eyeballs I'm still in a fairly relaxed place.
Lucille and I are getting on splendidly. We laugh together, talk about boys, and every night mentally struggle with each other to decide who will have to get up and turn off the light. I love making her laugh and knowing that she thinks I'm funny. Sometimes we look at each other and start giggling. Of course Lucille is French and in her thirties so she doesn't really giggle but her laugh is great.
I'm realizing more everyday that the more I settle here the harder it is to settle here. Now that I have a semblance of a routine I start missing my old one. Not having my love next to me when I go to sleep still feels unnatural and sad. Now I have to be comfortable in my own skin without my partners reassuring presents. But every time I look in my heart I find his love, and Mamma's that are stored there always. I find the saved up support of all of my people and the knot relaxes a little.
Hi Sweetie,
ReplyDeleteWhen we moved to Belgium I attended a talk that the American Woman's club put on. It was titled "Bloom where you are planted". She said "sure you miss thing from home but when you leave here you will miss things from here". She was so right! Do everything - take in every moment - feel it, smell it, hear it, taste it, touch it...that will help you to bloom where you are planted.